Supporting Children as They Get Ready to Start School

Our family is getting ready to take our youngest son to college. He is ready. We have done this before with our oldest son, so we know much of the drill. We know what he most likely will need for his dorm room, we know some of the conversations that are helpful to have prior to his departure, and we even know much about the campus as he is attending the same university as his brother. Since school starts in a few weeks, we even know the name of his dorm and room number, his meal plan, his roommate’s name, and what classes he is registered for.

But even though there are many similarities to sending our eldest to college, what is different this time around is who he is in this process. Every child is uniquely made to interact with the world in particular ways. The way our youngest is preparing and processing for college is very different than it was for his brother. The way we are parenting through this transition and new beginning must be different as well.

Whether your child is switching schools, coming back to school after learning remotely, or just changing grades, here are some tips for supporting your child as he or she begins a new school year.

Tips for the Transition

Highlight the opportunity this new school year brings to stretch and grow and learn and develop in mind, body, spirit, and relationships. Follow your child’s lead in developing a plan to help him/her feel more comfortable in this transition.

You might include a few of the following:

• Remind him/her why your family has chosen Bear Creek as your child’s learning community.
• Check out books from the library about the beginning of the school year, starting kindergarten, being a new student at school, or other subjects helpful to your child. Read these aloud and discuss them together as a family.
• Practice school-day routines: packing lunch and backpack, getting dressed in uniform, going to bed and waking up at school-day times, reading independently, or reading aloud together.
• Plan a get-together with another student in your child’s grade. Talk about everyone’s feelings anticipating the school year. 

Discuss Responsibilities and Set Expectations

Students benefit when they know what they are responsible for and the expectations others have for them. This customizable family conversation starter (requires Microsoft Word) may bring your family clarity and help your child think about ways he or she would like to grow this school year. Conversations like this can bring a sense of focus and control as well. Note: Not every child will be independent at each task listed, and there is a big difference between a student in grade 4 and a student in kindergarten. Use this if you think it might be helpful.

Acknowledge Questions and Feelings

This summer your child may be wondering about many unknowns relating to school starting in the fall. Ask your child if there is anything you can do to help him/her feel prepared for the school year to start.

• Write down some of the questions your child may have so he/she sees you have heard and will help find out information when it is available.
• Show a monthly view of the calendar to your child and share when you might learn the answer to specific questions: What will my teacher be like? Who will my classmates be? How will my backpack be stored? Where do lunchboxes go?
• Point to the answers you do know: first day of school uniform, type of lunchbox, and people you know who will be at school.

Ask your child how he/she is feeling or what he/she is thinking about as the school year draws closer. If your child has uncomfortable or anxious feelings about starting school:

• Acknowledge that big feelings are okay.
• Share about a time when you were feeling nervous or a different time when your child was feeling nervous about something new and it worked out.
• Process anxious feelings you may have as a parent with other adults in your life. Our kids pick up on our feelings.
• Pray together for the Lord to allow your child to accept the invitation to his peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace! 
• Pack a picture of your family in your child’s backpack so it is ready to go on the first day of school and he/she will be reminded of your love.
• Plan to pack a favorite stuffie in your child's backpack on the first day of school, if he/she would find it comforting.
• Hug your child for 10 seconds. When your child is feeling anxious, this helps relieve the stress and reminds him/her that his/her feelings aren’t too big or scary for you, the parent.

About the Author

Kristen Gephart is Lower School Division Head at The Bear Creek School. Kristen loves to read, walk, and enjoy the outdoors. She and her husband Jeff have two boys. She is passionate about the mission of The Bear Creek School and loves the intersection of faith and learning that is pursued here. She is an observer of people and loves to help others discover how they are created and the gifts and strengths they have. Kristen believes the impact of a community of adults invested in students' lives at a young age can impact them forever! She holds a B.A. Speech Communication at the University of Washington and an M.I.T. at Seattle University.